Who's the Asshole?

Vacancy

Judge & Jury — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:09:09 +0000

Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 enjoy staying in motels, mostly for the crisp sheets, ac and late-night dips in the brackish pool. They differ, however, on how to leave.

Spouse #1 leaves a tip for housecleaning but also straightens up.

Spouse #2 says a tip says they don’t have to straighten up shit short of a shoot-out. (And only then do you call The Wolf.)

Who’s the asshole?

And the asshole is…

Judge & Jury — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:08:46 +0000

Decision pending.

Want to be heard?

Judge & Jury — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:07:25 +0000

Email your ridiculousness to:

adjudicatethis@gmail.com

Come on, you know you’re right!

Rust belt

Judge & Jury — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:24:34 +0000

Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 divide their labor somewhat traditionally: Spouse #1 brings home the bacon which Spouse #2 fries up for a lovely quiche.

Spouse #1 asks Spouse #2 to google bing “dryers” and fix whatever it is that’s leaving rust stains on clothes.

Spouse #2 draws the line at adding “mechanic” to the many household titles already held.

Who’s the asshole?

And the asshole is…

Judge & Jury — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:23:24 +0000

Spouse #1 (husband)! Flannery O’Connor wrote a good man is hard to find. And then killed everyone off.

Want to be heard?

Judge & Jury — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:21:11 +0000

Email your ridiculousness to:

adjudicatethis@gmail.com

Come on, you know you’re right!

Alarm clock

Judge & Jury — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:30:53 +0000

Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 wake up at different times.

Spouse #1 sets the alarm for very early to exercise. About 1 in 5 mornings Spouse #1 hits the snooze button. Repeatedly.

Spouse #2 considers each well-earned moment of sleep to be sacred and thinks snoozing of any kind should be outlawed.

Who’s the asshole?

And the asshole is…

Judge & Jury — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:30:19 +0000

Spouse #1 (husband)! Shakespeare probably wrote a sonnet about this but we’re too lazy to check our iPhone app.

Want to be heard?

Judge & Jury — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:29:59 +0000

Email your ridiculousness to:

adjudicatethis@gmail.com

Come on, you know you’re right!

Wake-up call

Judge & Jury — Mon, 18 May 2009 01:36:10 +0000

Boyfriend and girlfriend leave the apartment at different times.

Significant Other #1 asks to be woken up by Significant Other #2 before Significant Other #2 leaves for the day.

Significant Other #2 does as requested by playing music. Significant Other #1 finds this method to be horribly excessive (made worse by Significant Other #2′s taste in music).

Who’s the asshole?