Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 divide their labor somewhat traditionally: Spouse #1 brings home the bacon which Spouse #2 fries up for a lovely quiche.
Spouse #1 asks Spouse #2 to google bing “dryers” and fix whatever it is that’s leaving rust stains on clothes.
Spouse #2 draws the line at adding “mechanic” to the many household titles already held.
Who’s the asshole?
Spouse #1 (husband)! Flannery O’Connor wrote a good man is hard to find. And then killed everyone off.
Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 wake up at different times.
Spouse #1 sets the alarm for very early to exercise. About 1 in 5 mornings Spouse #1 hits the snooze button. Repeatedly.
Spouse #2 considers each well-earned moment of sleep to be sacred and thinks snoozing of any kind should be outlawed.
Who’s the asshole?
Spouse #1 (husband)! Shakespeare probably wrote a sonnet about this but we’re too lazy to check our iPhone app.
Boyfriend and girlfriend leave the apartment at different times.
Significant Other #1 asks to be woken up by Significant Other #2 before Significant Other #2 leaves for the day.
Significant Other #2 does as requested by playing music. Significant Other #1 finds this method to be horribly excessive (made worse by Significant Other #2′s taste in music).
Who’s the asshole?
Significant Other #1 (boyfriend)! Because sometimes you got to walk that Lonesome Valley by yourself.
Spouse #1 and Spouse #2 disagree over notions (or non-notions) of efficiency.
Spouse #1 believes that when the dishwasher is empty dirty dishes should go from table to sink to dishwasher in one easy breezy motion.
Spouse #2 thinks sinks were meant to hold dishes until either spouse is ready to put them in the dishwasher later in the night or maybe the next morning or perhaps the following afternoon.
Who’s the asshole?
Spouse #2 (wife)! Again. Scientifically put (distance x force = work), Spouse #2 expended 15 more household joules than necessary.
